Keshcology Lecturers
What can you expect from these Keshcologists?
There are three of them. Names they have, good and
true, Luke and Robert and Andrew. It is they who construct the content for
your Keshcology degree. Here you can learn a little more about them.
Andrew Brain: 02/01/80. This young imp is a god amongst fools and the
fool of the gods. He's a spring-loaded stairwell; a freshly-mowed daisywheel;
he's the reason Paul Mayhew-Archer wrote "My Hero". His talent for producing
regular motions is hinted at in his deft remixing of salads. His thoughts take
us from A to Z and then into hieroglyphics. His walk has been imitated by many, but never
bettered. The breadth of his emotions give us all pause for wind, and the length
of his wind gives us all an emotional pause. Many have been moved by him,
particularly from their seats on the Tube.
Robert Follen: 15/11/79. What can be said about the young Mr Follen?
Sculptor and prosthetics genius, perhaps, but there's so much more. His great
talent for misinformation is one hint of that. Like a million monkeys have taken
over a million typewriters he's there with the fresh epigram and the unexpected
discharge. Robert can do vocal impersonations of half the world and is capable
of looking like the other half. It's said that with Robert the evening never
really begins because he makes it feel like it's always been evening. Parting
from Robert is like a dose of the clap: uncomfortable, unwished for and a cause of organ leakage.
Luke Sample: 06/03/78. With his
matinee-idol good looks and his Sunday-idle leisurewear, Mr Sample
brings a touch of the Riviera and smears it about a bit. Luke was
paid the ultimate compliment when James Blunt copied his face on birth.
Adept with things you pluck, things you press and things you
blow, a career in product-testing for Ann Summers is surely very close.
His travels to America have led to a tightening of border
controls; his travels on the fretboard have led many to tighten their
sphincters. Amongst the biscuit world he is spoken of in fearful
tones as The Great Devourer.
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